i am a copywriter. i got laid off a few months ago, and i am looking for a new, full-time job. in the meantime, i packed up the apartment i lived in for almost 7 years and moved back home. now i am living in brooklyn with my mom, and slowly going insane.

Friday, February 19, 2010

every day is like sunday...every day is silent and gray

it's funny, i thought this would get easier as time passed, but i feel like every day gets a little bit harder. i don't know why i thought it would be easier; i should have known better. right now i am struggling. i'm trying to concentrate on the positives, stay focused on the good things, but it gets harder and harder to do that. some days are better than others, but on the bad days, it's hard to stay positive and believe that everything is going to be ok.

sometimes i get so frustrated because i don't think anyone really gets what i am going through and then i tell myself that of course it they don't get it because it's not happening to them. then i struggle with wondering am i being too whiny? am i taking a passive, victim role? and even if they did get it, what would it matter? what could someone possibly do to make this situation better?

it's hard because i'm 34 and i feel like my life is on hold, and i'm going to have to start all over again and rebuild my life. i keep trying to tell myself that my life isn't broken, it's only broken if i don't do things to fix it. i'm doing the best that i can; i've been looking for jobs and sending out resumes. i'm going on a third interview so i keep telling myself to stay positive because that's a really good sign. third interview is good, right?

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