i hate you, cablevision.

i lost my job. i moved out of my apartment. i am back at home. i feel like a loser. i feel like a failure. i feel like i am less than i am. and on top of it all, i had to lose my DVR. seriously. broke my heart into a tiny million pieces. i had like 6 years of TV on there including 13 going on 30, which is one of my favorite movies ever. my girl crush on jennifer garner lives on. i am telling you, if she met me, she'd like me and we'd be best friends. (i'm not as delusional as i sound.) countless episodes of supernatural because dean winchester and i are going to happen, and stuff i hadn't even had a chance to watch.

so between packing up my apartment, throwing myself countless pity parties and drinking enough wine to kill any number of large buffalo, i watched as much as i could before i had to take that sucker back to time warner cable. i never thought i'd say this, but i loved time warner cable. i didn't know it then, but i know it now. and the reason i know it now is because i am back in brooklyn and i have cablevision, which is an oxymoron because i couldn't think of a cable company with less of a vision. now cablevision just sucks. i wish i could put together a prettier phrase to tell you the extent of how much cablevision sucks, but i can't because it sucks so much that i am dumfounded. i've had the triple play package for almost two weeks now, and this week is the first time where everything works in conjunction.

first the phone didn't work. like why do i even need a landline if it's not going to work? the whole point of having a landline is for emergencies when you're cellphone doesn't work. thanks for nothing, cablevision. i've fallen and i can't get up, and my phone doesn't work. i had to reboot the box at least three times a day because the guide didn't work. now everyone knows that rebooting the box is annoying, but the cablevision box is a fresh kind of hell because it takes about 7 minutes for it to come to life and another 7 minutes to stop flashing "boot." 15 minutes every time, at least three times a day. it's a good thing that i don't have a job, cablevision, because that could get in the way of my life.

don't even get me started on the DVR. it's especially painful. i came home the other night and it was filled 100%--and this isn't even prime tv time. are you kidding me with this? i have at least 6 shows a night, not to mention my small NCIS-reruns-on-USA addiction. so 100% when all my shows aren't even on? well, it's a joke. it has practically no memory. it didn't even tape my shows yesterday because it was FULL. that never happened with my old DVR. sigh. my old DVR, which right now i am fondly referring to as the love of my life had at least 20 shows saved on it and was only 40 or 50% full. it's horrific. but i guess it could be worse...